I’ve not been myself this past two weeks, some sort of funky funk…the onset of the Big D I hate so much…
Maybe there’s some hidden message in the dream I had last night…
HWMMS had to wake me up in the middle of the night because he was freaked out that I was crying/laughing hysterically—I was dreaming of being “pelted by a giant flying gourd in the shape of a chili pepper that was the size of Medium Puppy while on a ski mountain.”
I was crying because I didn’t catch it and it hurt when it hit me. It looked like a normal gourd from the top of the mountain but as it approached it got larger and larger. And I have no idea why I was laughing, but I couldn’t stop after I woke up…
WTF? Analyze that?
I mean my initial thought when pondering the quote I typed myself in the middle of the night so I wouldn’t forget was–FALL IS FLYING BY ME SO FAST IT WILL BE GONE AND I HAVEN’T EVEN ENJOYED IT YET.
The date is October 15th and I haven’t put up any of the FALL decorations. I’m clamoring to do this in August most years!
My pumpkins are still on the vine in the garden.
My corn stalks are dried in the garden instead of on the porch.
And the decorative gourds? They are still hanging out in the trailer waiting to be displayed with love!
But instead of going with my my GUT is telling me…I decide to turn to the all knowing Google… (Side note, YES I realize the irony of mentioning all these things that are still not done but instead taking photos of them and blogging about it.)
“To see a gourd in your dream, represents abundance, longevity and fertility. It is also a feminine symbol denoting the womb.”
Hmmm. I *did* have a good conversation about fertility and babies with someone yesterday…so that was on my mind. (And just so you know my thought was I can’t believe how over the last year I haven’t even thought about babies—especially since adopting Medium Puppy into our family. Two dogs, a million jobs—content Jenny.) Perhaps my inner self is trying to tell me otherwise.
“Gourd –feeling dried up and hollowed out; a container; not having it all together. What are you trying to hold together? “
Ok, this hits the nose on my head or whatever that phrase is. I do NOT feel all together lately. I’m the master of multi-tasking but when I’m in a funk, I feel like I am multi-failing at a number of things instead of tasking. (Crazy—I was looking for a depression post to link and found this one from 2004. TWELVE YEARS AGO. Still feels the same, but at least I’m aware of the oncoming train and TRY to be kinder to myself. Try. ) I will always have a million to-do lists, that’s just my life…most days I’m ok with this, but when I fog comes over me…I get lost and feel like I’m spinning gears and not accomplishing. So yeah, this one makes sense.
ESPECIALLY since I know myself pretty well and I know when I’m reaching a breaking point. I hit that last week and ended up taking the entire weekend OFF of WORK. I was going to do work when I got home from work on Friday but our friend Alaska Joe rolled into town and I hung out with him instead. Saturday was Vanessa’s wedding. And Sunday? Well, Sunday I did a ton of work but it involved time in the garden winding down the season and preserving…of course being in the funk, coming outside of a weekend off I felt refreshed in one regard and TOTALLY panicked in another because there’s just so much I want/need/have to do still. Alas…
I also realize yesterday, I HID FROM MY DOCTOR when I saw her at the welcome reception for the new surgeon at the hospital. HID from her because I haven’t gone back to do my blood work and follow-up tests from my appointment a few months ago. I skipped the appointment in September. WHY? Because I’m terrified of hearing the words “y0u have Type 2 diabetes” and I’ve done NOTHING over the years to stop it.Yeah. Maybe that’s what the dream is about. BAM. Hit in the head. MUST CALL DOCTOR ON MONDAY. MUST SCHEDULE BLOOD WORK AND TESTS ON MONDAY.
“Dreaming of a mature gourd is omens the improvement of your business at this time. A big gourd symbolizes an opportunity to develop a temporary work that you will leave you interesting earnings.”
I see. I see. This in some weird way makes sense too…my part-time Chamber job has been taking up much more than part-time and over the last week I’ve realized I really want/need to get back into my real estate game. Real Estate got pretty busy for me this past month, which is amazing, but difficult to manage when doing other things. Time to dial that pendulum back to my business more…
I also started up with a freelance writing gig again...which might sound odd, but makes me happy. I like writing, blogging…I miss writing, blogging. Even doing these wee gigs has me on the computer, typing words again for something that isn’t work related. Don’t read into this the wrong way, I LOVE doing my work-related blogging and writing and feel exceptionally blessed I have a job where I can do these things. But it’s nice to have something OUTSIDE of my business or my job to get the words flowing. It’s definitely made me want to write more again, I’ve been falling asleep crafting long essays in my head instead of to-do list snippets. AND THAT IS A WIN.
Hmmmm. Any other dream weavers out there want to take a shot at interpreting?