Because everything I made, burned!
Exhibit One: Burned Angel Hair Pasta. FROM BOILING. So sad.
In fact at one point maybe the 3rd time the fire alarm went off my landlord called from downstairs “Everything ok up there Jen?”
Sigh. yes. YES. I’m just in a RUSH AND EVERYTHING IS BURNING.
I spent most of Saturday afternoon not getting my house ready for company and not going to the drugstore and not going to the grocery store and not cooking for the weekend.
By the time I carefully measured every minute I had left and planned down to the last second what I needed to do I was thrown off schedule by 30 minutes when the drugstore told me that my script was sent to the wrong store. Wah-wah.
30 minutes behind and in a rush.
Back at the homestead the first thing to go downhill? Pasta. I BURNED ANGEL HAIR PASTA! While it was boiling on the stove. Because I wasn’t paying attention. Of course for the next 5 minutes instead of cleaning the pot I take photos and text my friend Stephanie, who I once made fun of for burning spaghetti. (Isn’t that what texting is for?)
Aside: How not to burn angel hair pasta boiling in water? Do not go to computer to adjust the volume of Jesus Christ Superstar to MAX and get sucked into Facebook while singing “Christ you know I love you, did you see I wave?” at the top of your lungs.
35 minutes behind and left with burned pasta.
Most of the Angel Hair Pasta was salvaged. I set the burned pan aside and went to work on the Turkey Meatballs. Little tiny balls of friend fried heaven. I meant to say fried, or did I really mean friend? I mean these meatballs are better to me than some friends I’ve had in life…hm….heaven.
The Meat-a-ball fairy must have been looking over me because I did not burn ANY of these little guys. But I did spend quite a few extra seconds taste testing. All seems like it is going well. I put the salsa and rice/beans/cheese and chips out in the living room for a snack.
I make a homemade garlic crust for the bottom of the Spaghetti Pie. Add the sauce and pasta and cheese top with meat-a-balls and put in the oven. About 2 minutes later my entire house is filled with smoke. OOPS! I must have hit the oven knob by accident because said pie was on BROIL! And all the meat-a-balls…basically ash.
SMOKE EVERYWHERE! I open all windows and doors and try to clear and as soon as I think I have it cleared the alarm goes off again. And again. And the landlord calls up and everything is fine. And…
15 minutes behind. 15 less meat-a-balls for us.
Spaghetti pie is left with craters where meat-a-balls once burnt to ash. I replaced the meatballs, stuck the pie in the oven for a few minutes and gave up. Mind you this means, the crust wasn’t fully cooked either. And although the meat-a-balls take one were removed, the burn taste still lingered in the dish. Bah.
Family arrive! Hurrah! I tell them not to look at the mess of the floor in the kitchen and take 5 extra minutes to quickly vacuum up the rug area where we will play games. Sigh.
Friends arrive! Hurrah! I tell them not to look at the mess of the floor in the kitchen and pour a drink of OJ/Orange Vodka for us all (the only adult beverage we will have all night.)
Dinner is served! But I forgot to FREAKING MAKE THE SALAD (see all the notes above in italics) so I quickly throw something together and toss a bunch of little popcorn chicken (instead of mandarin oranges, healthy I know) and VOILA! Add Banana Bread and Brownies. Mmmmm.
Dinner, is finally served.
Kitchen, is still not cleaned.