I love, love the musical Man of La Mancha.

Jesus Christ Superstar, Les Miserables, Man of La Mancha, Rent perhaps in that order.

The other day I was listening to the soundtrack, when I decided to change my name to All Things Dulcinea. To be the perfect (yet insane) object of one’s desire…how I wish.

Instead, I identify with the lead, Don Quixote.

Where is the Jennifer who lives by the theme song *The Impossible Dream* (Oh, and to have a recording of Colm singing this song brings me to tears…love him.)

She has been lost the last few months, 6 months…I miss that person. I long to be that person. Without this quest, I’m nothing. Or at least that is how I feel.

When I was job searching the other day one of my best friends wrote to me while I was in a *moment of Zen* on a cover letter writing roll. I needed to be in that moment, to feel successful and able. The moments have been so few lately, I needed to take it all in. And I did. But in the process, my best friend Mary called. And I emailed her telling her that my lazy ass was in the middle of a job search. How did I ever become so  lazy? And to this she replied, and this is why I love her…

“Are you looking for something to advance your career or just something to do til you finish school? You are far from lazy if I recall. I think you worked harder than 99% of the folks we went to college with.”

Ugh. And then of course, best friend Katie from High School said” A part time asst. gig? Aren’t you overqualified for that, ms. almost JD? You could probably BE the director.”

Yeah, yeah, yeah…so why am I such a miserable failure?

But thanks to all those who love me despite of myself.

Ok, since I know none of you are going to read the words to the song that inspires me to live a good life…I shall reprint them here.

The Impossible Dream

To dream the impossible dream,
To fight the unbeatable foe,
To bear with unbearable sorrow,
To run where the brave dare not go.

To right the unrightable wrong,
To love pure and chaste from afar,
To try when your arms are too weary,
To reach the unreachable star.

This is my quest,
To follow that star —
No matter how hopeless,
No matter how far.

To fight for the right
Without question or pause,
To be willing to march
Into hell for a heavenly cause.

And I know if I’ll only be true
To this glorious quest
That my heart will be peaceful and calm
when I’m laid to my rest.

And the world will be better for this,
that one man scorned and covered with scars
still strove with his last ounce of courage.
To reach the unreachable star.

To dream the impossible dream
To fight the unbeatable foe
To bear with unbearable sorrow
To run where the brave dare not go.

To right the unrightable wrong
To be better far than you are
To try when your arms are too weary
To reach the unreachable star.

This is my quest, to follow that star,
No matter how hopeless, no matter how far
To be willing to give when there’s no more to give
To be willing to die so that honor and justice may live

And I know if I’ll only be true to this glorious quest
That my heart will lie peaceful and calm when I’m laid to my rest

And the world will be better for this
That one man scorned and covered with scars
Still strove with his last ounce of courage
To reach the unreachable star.