All Things Flu (Of the Possible Swine)

I’VE HAD ENOUGH!

Dear Flu (Of The Possible Swine) Eff you. I’ve had enough of being exhausted. Tis the 4th day of your stay and I’m kicking you out. Windows open, blankets in wash, coffee in my cup and I shall attempt to Lysol everything in sight. Of course, my energy level just writing this update exceeds that of the last 4 days combined, but you know power of positive thinking!

(Full disclosure: today is the first day I have felt it was possible to get out of bed and do ANYTHING. So the strong talk is really based on, well, feeling a little better-knock on wood. And the coffee, despite smelling wonderful, tasted blah. I dumped it.)

IF YOU HAVE THE FLU FOR THE LOVE OF OTHERS please stay home and get rest. I do NOT want to deal with this again by getting a slightly different version from someone else and I surely do not want to give it to anyone. No freaking way. Half our office has been sick…I’m staying home as long as possible.I think I might be able to stay out of bed long enough tomorrow to actually work from home!

Soooo. Here’s my timeline of the Flu of the Possible Swine.  Go get a BIG glass of OJ, wash your hands and think of me fondly.

Saturday- I choose to stay in all day and cook like a fiend. I plan on going to the hall in the evening, but as the day goes on my energy level is completely zapped and I start to get a sinus headachy feeling. I don’t go to the Botti Call and I get an early sleep instead…ibuprofen, taken.

Sunday morning- HEAD IS KILLING ME. ibuprofen not working, it’s gonna be one of THOSE headaches. I take more medicine drink fluid and get back into bed. I still think it might be possible for me to make the concert for work, but as I try to sleep I realize 1,000 little children might not be the best place for me even if I kick this headache.

Sunday afternoon- HOLY HELL WHEN DID THIS HIT? Somehow during my nap I’ve been invaded by a fever of the 102 variety. Which seems high considering I’ve been taking ibuprofen for the last 12 hours forehead pain and pressure that isn’t going away.

Wait a minute…FLU????????????? NO!!!!!!!!

I’m FREEZING. Chills, hot cold hothothot. Wah.

I try to go to sleep…watch my fever fall down to 101 and a few hours later back up again. I call into work at the Co-op obviously not going into work.

Sunday Late Night- Fever goes up again in the middle of the night. And now I’m blessed with insomnia on top of it. Thank God for Twitter. My head hurts far too much to do anything outside of 140 characters.

Monday morning- I fall asleep finally somewhere before 7 am. Fever spikes again and I’m having very strange dreams.

Monday evening- Although I have an appetite if I could get out of bed to eat, nothing tastes good except OJ and Cran Juice and Gatorade and water. I’m running out of ibuprofen and the fever is back up to 102. I trek out to the nearest Walgreens to stock up on Theraflu, Tylenol and liquids and come back home completely spent. Has this really been going on for 2 full days? I NEVER HAVE A FEVER FOR TWO STRAIGHT DAYS.

Damn Flu of the Possible Swine.

(This is where I deal with the COTTON BALL IN MY TYLENOL a tale already told.)

Tuesday Morning- OH MY GOD no fever? Could it be? I slept for a VERY LONG TIME (after taking a very big helping of medicines.) And dare I say…no I do not say. I take another shot of Theraflu and head back to bed.

Tuesday Afternoon- ARUGH! I’m lightheaded freezing and a tad feverish again ARE YOU KIDDING ME FLU? BAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! More medicine and more bed.

Tuesday evening- I’m FINALLY able to read in bed without the pounding pain in my head. Walking around too long makes me lightheaded but I can at least read. I read two books. And am completely exhausted but can’t fall asleep again.

Still not sleeping. Highly irritable. Every inch of the bed feels warm, I hate warm. I pull up my hair in a Pebbles Flintstone do because I can’t stand the feeling of my hair on my neck. My room smells like sick. I’m going freaking insane.

At some point during the insomnia bout I say F this and take a Benedryl (um, or two, I might have taken two.) Sleep occurs sometime thereafter…I wake not until about…

Wednesday Afternoon- 1pm. Why was I complaining about the warm of my bed last night? Oh my gosh I never want to get up…I could stay here all day!

Wednesday Afternoon- 2pmish. I’m feeling feisty. AND NO LONGER FEVERISH! I ache. But decide to get out of bed and be proactive. I make coffee, which I can’t drink…ick. Wash my comforters and sheets. Spray EVERYTHING in sight with Lysol (not that it will help.) Open the windows. Do all the dishes (where did they all come from?)   Scrub every counter surface in the kitchen (including cupboard knobs) with Lysol. Scrub on my hands and knees every inch of bathroom.   Take out the trash. Disinfect trash can.  realize I’m getting lightheaded and remember I need to eat—heat up beef barley soup that tastes like meh…and sit down and write this blog post.

Phew.

According to what I’ve been told…one is supposed to stay home at least a day after the fever breaks and you are feeling better. Which *fingers crossed* means I need to stay home tomorrow, but hopefully will be able to work from home most of the day. I might even play it safe and work from home Friday.

I mean I’m feeling feisty at this minute, but the Flu of Possible Swine has been a worthy opponent and known to kick my butt back in the corner more than once this week already. So I should be cautious at best. Considering today is the first day since SUNDAY I’ve been able to stay out of bed and do ANYTHING I have a feeling I might need another day or two to actually FEEL BETTER.

Sigh. I wish this not upon any of you.