A few months ago I wrote a post about how I was happy. Just happy in the here and now, the present moment. Not worrying about the future, not thinking about the past. But loving life TODAY.
Such a strange feeling, this feeling of contentment. Why did it take me so long to get here? Of course as all human beings I can’t help but think about the future and want and worry and hope and pray. But something this past year clicked inside and has me not dwelling on the past or what the future might hold.
And I have to say it feels pretty darn good. I’m able to really look inside ME for once and see what I need, what I want to work on, how to be a better person for TODAY. Which means not as much hating myself because of yesterday. Moments come and go of course and I choose to share them often times with you on the blog, however my overall sense of self is satisfied.
In fact it’s almost strange how much I want things to remain as they are…regarding dating. I love dating. I love men. I love smooching. I love meeting new people. But for the first time ever I’m not stuck longing for someone…going to bed at night dreaming about this person or that person. Wanting more with one person or less with another. I’m really pretty focused on me. Spending time with friends, family, hanging out in the community, meeting new people…bring it! But for some reason the idea of meeting someone…to date? For real? Well, I’m not exceptionally interested right now.
Wait. I’m ALWAYS interested! Let me take that back! I guess I’m just very, very leery of changing the present moment of contentment. I crave time for me. Selfish time for me. And I know that this person isn’t the best to be when looking for a partner-in-crime. But, I’m ok with being selfish right now. And just being me. And taking each day one at a time.
I’ve never been this person before. Where did she come from?
ALL THINGS (fill in the blank.)