Ask: Guidance & Clarity. Arugh.
The wonderful and crazy thing about overthinking and looking out for coincidences and synchronicities and trying to analyze and figure out what the right thing to do is when you are foggy and grey.
I checked my email this morning and saw this.
PERFECT! I WOULD LOVE IT! OH MY GOODNESS! And to think if I would have pursued and got the last position I was thinking about LAST WEEK I wouldn’t be able to consider this one. Serendipity?
Hmmmm. Guidance. I reach for a card.
Tarot: Wheel of Fortune: The path of destiny. Karma on a grand scale. An unexpected turn of good fortune. A link in the chain of events. Success, luck, and happiness.
Remember when I wrote this post? Oh yeah LAST WEEK: Trust Your Inner Voice
I want to write. I want time at home to garden. I want the flexibility to not have meetings scheduled several times a week. I want to focus on Real Estate.
Guidance? I pull another card.
Tarot: The Empress: Initiative and practical actions that promote prosperity, comfort and luxury. Fruitfulness and motherhood.
Two roads—-the choice is mine?
- I would LOVE that position. Could it be more what I’m looking for? And while it’s not FT it would be a FT compliment to what I already am doing.
- I cannot help but think that Real Estate is supposed to be something much more. I’ve been hiding from it, not devoting time into it. This career can’t happen while I passively fill in the blanks here and there. I need to put time and energy into it to make money. And if I’m being completely honest with myself, and I don’t want to type these words or bring them to the forefront yet, but I do see fostering kids/adoption and family happening when this path is successful.
- Family and fostering and adoption can happen with both options—-but for some reason I very vividly feel that with the first, I will choose to continue down the path I’m currently on—which isn’t a bad thing at all, but I don’t necessarily see children anymore. The second one, I feel is somehow fated—and I have to come to terms to accept this and then bring the Husband to terms. We aren’t there yet. I had some idea in my brain that if we weren’t going to biologically try to have children we had a few years before considering a family through other means…I’m 43. 45 is the arbitrary number I have in my head for starting this process.
What does it all mean? It means that there’s always free will. Guidance is good—helps you consider options, but go with your gut and intuition always in the end. Life changes by the minute, so can the paths we are on.