I should have known better. In fact I DO know better and I still didn’t listen to myself. I need to start listening to myself.
I’m talking about football.
Buffalo Bills football.
Here we are in NOVEMBER and actually dreaming of a 6-2 start to the season? And what cosmic timing, we just HAPPEN to have a Thursday Night game (that dreaded Thursday night game—I dislike) against, the Jets.
I felt nervous and uneasy. I didn’t watch the game last week and was surprised (out of practice) hearing they won.
Tonight, I had an event in the city to attend, which would be over right about at the time the game started at 8:30pm. But I didn’t turn on the radio on the drive home. And I didn’t even check my phone. Or play on my phone. HWMMS asked me at some point what the score was and I told him I wasn’t listening.
“Not even looking at the score on your phone?”” he asked.
“Did your phone fall on the floor?” I love my husband he couldn’t comprehend how I could possiblly NOT be on my phone at that moment. I willingly had it placed (within reach) in my purse on the floor. I know right, who am I?
- I am someone lost in serious thought over the performance I just saw.
- I know better. We aren’t going to win. I don’t want the disappointment.
I know it’s only FOOTBALL. And I know, for the love of GOD I know, it’s only BUFFALO BILLS football and I SHOULD be “used” to the disappointment but for some unknown reason—-deep down in the boiling blood of my veins, I FEEL RAGE when the BILLS lose—well, lose when they could maybe win. Or we expect them to win. Or well, if I watch a game I FEEL IT. I’m not proud, I wish I could watch a game without cursing, loudly. But alas, it’s not in my genetic WNY makeup as a lifelong BILLS fan.
It doesn’t matter that I didn’t even CONSIDER we would be even CLOSE to THINKING (dreaming) about the playoffs—just getting a chance for a real live spot in the playoffs!!! WHAAAAAAAAAA? Impossible. For that one moment, brief glorious moment in time that we were ABOVE THE PATRIOTS in the AFC EAST.
Man, that’s almost like Christmas Morning! Or the First Snowfall!
And yes, it’s just one game. But it’s that one game, the depressing turning point. The depressing turning point in Thursday night in front of the world instead of tucked quietly in our little Sunday 1pm regional timeslot that no one else notices because well…BILLS vs. JETS, right?
Aside: I dislike the all green uniforms on the Jets. They look like Gumby.