Dear Kitchen Floor

Dear Kitchen Floor,

No matter how hard I scrub… on my hands and knees, with a new mop, with bleach, with lemon, or with AJAX…you will never be clean. Why is that? Do you hate me? Rebellious kitchen floor. Damn stained linoleum. I hate you. Even if you smell lemony fresh. I just needed you to know that.


Whatcha talkin' bout Willis?