Thanks to Buffawhat, you now can learn these EIGHT interesting things about me. Although, I think I just did this one with SEVEN a while ago.

The Rules: List 8 things about yourself that no one may be aware of. At the end of the post, tag and link to 8 other people. Leave a comment at those sites, letting them know they’ve been tagged, and asking them to come read the post so they know what to do.

1. I’ve been afraid to write the last few years. Too many thoughts in my head and once they are on paper they seem so much more REAL and well, I prefer to enjoy my own reality. I did the Artist’s Way group at the beginning of last year and the “Morning Pages” were the hardest part. Going back in time and reading words on paper during my “melancholy periods” scares the hell out of me. I notice I hold back when journaling or writing and I don’t want to be this person anymore, but I feel paralyzed to change. (Note: I’ve have been writing a lot this month.) Confusing, eh?

2. Oh, how I love taking pictures. Oh, the things I could do if I studied photography. Oh, the things I could dream of doing with a nice camera. I take shots like the one above all the time, just to pretend to get a shot of something *artsy* you know, like a real photographer would do. Help me Val!

3. Nothing in the world makes me happier than seeing my little niece grow up into this incredible wee little precocious person. Parts of mommy and parts of daddy and parts of little miss independence! I love her so and being around her makes me remember all the very important things in life I want someday.

4. Holy crap, I could easily be addicted to fashion if I had money and body to wear the clothes. I’ve only discovered this trend in the last few years. Who’da thunk little Jenny would love InStyle and Vogue and Project Runway? I’ve always had my own sense of style “Republican Hippy, Blue Jeans and Pearls.” But this fashionista side also loves a good deal, but ya’all know that. (Like the above $15 winter coat!) Boy oh boy do I wish I knew had the patience and the time to learn how to sew and crochet.

5. When stressed. I pick, pick, pick….at my fingers and my scabs, at my eyebrows with tweezers. Pick, pick, pick. And I have to say, it makes me feel better. Although it looks gross. (No my fingers do not look like that right now, but I can’t leave the scab on my leg alone for anything. And that wee little blemish on my lip.) Gross. I know.

6. DELETE! I randomly go in fits of DELETE and PURGE. I will delete everything from my email, things from my blog, my blogroll, bloglines, my picture album, my notebooks, my shelves, my address book. The purging is satisfying. (I deleted every blog post from the beginning of my bloglife back in September 2003-March 2005 during the darkest period of my life. Just because I really, REALLY needed to hide.)

7. As much as I LOVE Buffalo and LOVE big cities, I’m a small town country girl at heart. Don’t you forget it. I see this black and white, all or nothing thinking in many parts of my personality. Another example…I love being around people and talking except when I do NOT and I need to hide. There’s rarely some middle ground in my life.

8. Nothing makes me smile more than seeing people I love doing things they love. NEED to travel to China, to absorb the history of the Wing Chun that encompasses his life. (How can we ever, ever afford this? Sigh…) I also wonder if there is anything in the entire world that I could possibly be that dedicated to? And I wonder how on earth I, as the mistress of Wing Chun, will fit into a future life together. With children comes compromises, and I never EVER want Mark to scale back on something he loves so much…and at the same time, I see the Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Saturday nights of teaching…impossible if we are going to have a family. And I wonder, and I panic and I overreact and I fear. We are not ready for this life, yet, but I fear I’m more ready. At least in the thinking-imagining-wanting the next step and this has caused a significant amount of stress in my life lately.