My Attempt To Make A Random Day, a Great American Smoke Out Day


Randomments / Thursday, November 16th, 2017

I can’t believe I wrote this back in 2004. That was 13 years ago guys! But the story is still funny to me and since it is Great American Smoke Out Day, I thought I’d repost and share. Enjoy.

My Attempt To Make A Random Day, a Great American Smoke Out Day

I was riding the orange line, in D.C. wearing a super cute black and white print skirt, not exactly conservative. I sat down next to a woman, who somewhat reminded me of my mom. That early 50’s crazy talker type. Not at all like the other riders who immerse themselves into anything written to avoid boredom as well as crazy mom type conversationalists.

Yeah, so the nice lady tells me she likes my skirt and I sit down next to her. As soon as I sat down, she had her in.

Somehow? Talker lady got on the topic of how cigarettes are cheaper in Vienna then in the District. Orange line chatter? Do I care?

“VA has smoking hours available in restaurants…no smoking between the hours of 7am-9am.”

I told her I didn’t smoke, and was in favor of the strict laws against smoking in public places that we had back in NY. Whatever. (Am I at my stop yet?) No.

“Good for you for not smoking.”

Turns out she’s a heavy smoker, who is trying to quit. Of course.

In fact she was just now coming back from a doctor visit, coincidentally.

“My doctor told me I needed to to stop smoking. I promised myself last year when my uncle was on his death bed that I would quit and I didn’t. And my father passed a few years back because of his smoking too. I also promised him…and guess what, I’m still smoking.”

So…I tell mom, I mean metroladywithtoomuchinformation…

“It’s your lucky day. I’m a sign. I was sent here to sit next to you on this Metro today so you could stop smoking. Hand me your cigarettes.”

She nervously chuckled. I noticed I was getting somewhat of an audience.

“No, really. Hand me your cigarettes and I will throw them away. I’m off at the next stop. Today is your lucky day!”

The lady had no idea what to do…so of course with my hand outstretched, she chose nothing. I left her with a “good luck.” And went on my way.

I do believe someone clapped as I walked out the door.

Whatcha talkin' bout Willis?