“Welcome Home Jennifer!”
It’s been a while since I’ve been *home* I’ve been cocooned out in the burbs with the Best Friend Rachel, her hubby and adorable wonder-daughter (not yet two and so smart!) for the last two and a half weeks or so. And for about two and a half weeks before that, well, you know…trying to co-exist with the no-longer-significant other (NLSO) and hiding out in the bedroom.
It’s been a LONG while since I’ve been home.
TRUST ME. I did the healthy, good, proper thing for once in my life by packing up and cocooning. Spending the time with friends and toddlers kept my mind on other things besides the woe is me self. And while the NLSO technically moved all his things out of the apartment last week, I’ve spent a few extra days away. Blame it on the non-existing hot water problem that came out of, well, wide right field.
And Sunday, I was home.
Home Sweet Home.
Home is where the heart is?
Home. Ugh. I had a hard time leaving Rachel’s. I cried when I said good bye to sweet little Norah who said I was part of her family and waved out the big window in the front room as we drove away. I cried when I hugged Rachel goodbye at my front door.
I felt so sad when I came in the door to find my Simba Cat cowering in the closet. So sad. So scared. So lonely. Poor kitty.
Of course I was ready to be home. I need to get my new life started and my routine back. I need this. But I might not have totally wanted this. It was cozy and safe and lovely with my friends.Just kidding.
I thought for a while in the beginning that I might need to move out of the apartment, because it was OUR apartment. And soon I realized that I really didn’t want to move. I looked at one lovely place, but it would have been $$$. And by staying in the place I love so much, and I’m able to put a vehicle on the road Besides, the place is PURRRFECT for my outdoor kitty Sasha Kitten. Tucked back just enough from traffic, 1st floor.
And you know what else? I love this place. It IS my home and I want to stay. So stay I did (for now, and at least for a while.)
Coming back to see NLSO’s stuff out of the house wasn’t as hard as I thought. I did tear up when I went in the VERY cold and vacant extra bedroom which was his *art studio* otherwise known as the storage room. And the house has a lot less books.
But besides that? I’m doing ok.
I miss the Wooden Dummy body. I was used to hanging my coat on that thing. I need a new coat rack.
I miss the fun square plates I bought for him for our 1st Christmas. Loved those. I didn’t realize I always grabbed for those when making dinner, until I tried to grab for it last night…and they weren’t there.
I feel like I need to check the answering machine when I first walk in the door…but no.
I miss terribly Little Ling who used to live and sleep with us, even the grumpy Keesa. But I’m totally and completely in love with my boys and so happy to have then cuddle next to me in bed again. So happy. I’ve missed my boys so much while away.
And I still sort of have this feeling that Mark, I mean the NLSO, is just away in Rochester for the weekend or away at class or or. Or…in the other room or something.
But none of this is a PAINFUL feeling. It is what it is. My new normal.
I still have to clean EVERYTHING from head to toe. Move furniture around. Get out of the old bedroom. Bring upstairs all my Christmas/Winter decorations (the Fall/Halloween ones never made it upstairs this year) and my sweaters and boots and hats and gloves.
And um, put away all the crap all over the house that I’ve had not even a little bit of energy to do. I’ve been gone for 2 and a half weeks, it’s in need of some serious love here.
A lot of the things in the house were basically mine. Yeah, there are a few pieces missing here and there and the entire studio is empty, but for the most part I’m left with most things intact. I had to take down all the art work that was his…so my walls are bare. And I purged every “Chinese/Eastern/Bamboo” influence which was more than I thought! I started by buying a seasonal penguin shower curtain and told the NLSO to take the one we had with Bamboo Shoots. Bye-bye.
I can’t help but think of how sad and lonely and not very home-ish and empty his place must be right now. But this is not longer my problem.
So what am I doing instead? Blogging about my home and all the things I need to do. Drinking a glass of wine and singing Santa Baby at the top of my sexy lungs for the 7th 8th 9th 10th time tonight.
“Santa baby, I forgot to mention one little thing…a ring…I don’t mean on the phone.”
Home Sweet Home