I love you Wolf Tee Shirt!

Oh my…Linda Lu was telling me about the Wolf Tee Shirt on Amazon.com last night and she was right. It is awesome. Beyond awesome.

You have to read all the comments and reviews of Wolf Tee Shirt to truly appreciate but here are a few samples.

5.0 out of 5 stars Dual Function Design

This item has wolves on it which makes it intrinsically sweet and worth 5 stars by itself, but once I tried it on, that’s when the magic happened. After checking to ensure that the shirt would properly cover my girth, I walked from my trailer to Wal-mart with the shirt on and was immediately approached by women.

I arrived at Wal-mart, mounted my courtesy-scooter (walking is such a drag!) sitting side saddle so that my wolves would show. While I was browsing tube socks, I could hear aroused asthmatic breathing behind me. I turned around to see a slightly sweaty dream in sweatpants and flip-flops standing there. She told me she liked the wolves on my shirt, I told her I wanted to howl at her moon. She offered me a swig from her mountain dew, and I drove my scooter, with her shuffling along side out the door and into the rest of our lives. Thank you wolf shirt.

5.0 out of 5 stars Don’t pass this up!

Before ordering this shirt I was a shy, nervous computer/sci-fi geek, fearful of women and utterly dominated by my Sikh supervisor from Bangalore. After reading the numerous testimonials to the power and life-altering aspects of this legendary, yet strangely beautiful, Three Wolf shirt I decided to throw caution to the winds and attempt to purchase the more “manly” existence that I felt I deserved but that Bowflex had never given me.

When the shirt arrived I was trembling with anticipation. I removed it, lovingly, from its box and slipped it over my pencil-thin neck and awaited the transformation and……NOTHING. I was heartbroken. Obviously, this was as big a media hyped fantasy as the Obama Presidency. I took to wearing the shirt only as a mnemonic to myself to ensure I Won’t Get Fooled Again. Then one evening I was eating a Family-Sized bag of Cheetos and watching the Doctor Who episode “Tooth and Claw” when a wondrous thing happened. Just as Queen Victoria was being menaced by the werewolf, the Moon graphic over my heart started to pulsate and the orange Cheeto detritus on my fingers glowed with a brilliant, neon light. I was instantly transported to another plane of existence where fact and fiction, and reality and fantasy are mere words because the lines of distinction between such banal concepts are erased and meaningless. I am now a Time Lord…I am writing to you from the future. BUY THIS SHIRT!

1.0 out of 5 stars I think some of the benefits are exagerrated

However, having owned this shirt for three weeks now and having tried it out in a variety of situations, both formal and informal, I’m beginning to believe that some of the benefits —- as described by other reviewers —- are exaggerated. I have not been invited to a vision quest, even though I wore my wolf shirt in New Mexico. There is one thing, though, and that is that whenever I wear the wolf shirt I have a lot less issues with involuntary urination. I have not studied it long enough, however, to establish a cause/effect relationship. Once, however, while wearing the wolf shirt I was mistaken for Schneider, the building superintendent on “One Day at a Time.”
So I guess the jury is still out.

Whatcha talkin' bout Willis?