I’m Just a Girl

First of all, I could be told that I’m *adorable* and *cute* all the live long day.

Seriously, keep it coming…

Men.

Last night I had a date to meet S2. And for the first time—ever? I wasn’t even a little bit nervous or confidentless. Shock?

I always have that nervous “is he going to like me” feeling. However after going through this situation earlier in the week and meeting S1 WAIT!!!! Perhaps that’s the KEY!!! I need to have more than one first date in a week! I’m usually only nervous the few minutes before meeting…after that I’m comfortable, sweet and flirty and myself. I guess I’ve been pretty lucky in my life,  I can’t remember one bad first date meeting someone new? Is that possible?

MAYBE the real reason I wasn’t as nervous? I already have a crush on Mr. S1 So meeting S2 was a good thing…but…well I’m seeing S1 this weekend.

La la la…

Where was I? Oh…not nervous!

S2 and I went to Gabriel’s Gate for dinner which was nice and conversation flowed and flowed. He already browsed through my blog significantly over the week and felt he already knew (and liked) me. Cute. While waiting at the bar for a table, I bought HIM the first drink and he thought that was very cool.

After dinner…what next? Well, we picked up a 12 pack and went back to my place and chatted and chatted and chatted and tried to play a game and  chatted and listened to music. I dunno. He’s nice. Sweet. Very kind. And I don’t NOT like him. (But I think I’m comparing…and I have some sort of *spark* with S1 that is just not there with S2, despite him being a perfectly cool guy to hang out with.)

And this is going to sound strange, I know. But meeting S2 reminded me a lot of meeting Mark for the first time. Although with Mark, we talked back and forth a few more times before he came to Buffalo…I liked Mark of course, and felt VERY comfortable around him at the very beginning…which was a new thing for me to tell the truth. I usually kiss a man and kick them out. AND at the time I was talking with Zack as well, who I thought had a greater chance of *long-term* potential…and Mark and I were just hanging out. We know how that worked out!

So anyhow…S2 lives in Olean which is about a 90 minute drive. I told him  (and not in a dirty girl way) that he could feel free to spend the night and not worry about the drive. I had extra space and a pull out mattress etc. We ended up staying up pretty late past 3 am ish…and he decided to drive home around 6am after a brief nap.

Sigh. I walked him downstairs and gave him a kiss good night and he seemed pretty, well, weird. I know earlier in the night he told me that he thought I was going to break his heart cause he hasn’t really been out and dating lately while in school and living in a small college town. Not too many people his age and single. (5 years younger than me, BTW—we played the game Blizzard of 77 and I realized he wasn’t born yet!)

Honestly? Who knows? S2 was nice (enough?) BUT lives 90 minutes away.

MY GUT INSTINCT is telling me that he’s a nice guy—like B—(but I definitely had a crush on B when I first met him, once we got to know each other better I realized we weren’t too compatible.) BUT I don’t have that butterfly crush type feeling with him. Of course, S2 is more stable than B. Wants kids and to get married. Wants to stay in WNY. Yada, yada, yada. I would go out with him again, but I don’t think anything is there.

Is this because like I said? I have a spark with S1? Do I have the spark with S1 because he is a challenge? Only time will tell.

Of course this crush on S1 isn’t stopping me from meeting other people. (I did that WAY too soon with the German boy turning down a meeting up with A in NYC.) And somewhere in my (WALL OF I DON’T WANT TO GET HURT) I don’t think anything is going to be relationship-like with S1 in the long term. S1 also seems to have a pretty good fortress around him as well…we both are not even a little bit the *settling* type.

I can tell I’m getting better about this dating thing and confidence thing because I realized I had not heard back from S1 from Friday morning on email when we were trying to make plans for the weekend. I wrote back suggesting Sat and never heard back from him. Didn’t hear back this morning either—BUT INSTEAD OF BEING INSECURE GIRL—I picked up the PHONE and called him. Because S1 is NOT A COMPUTER GUY. Does not like to be on the computer when he comes home from work…and although we have been emailing daily, he said he needed to take a break from the computer even though he knows I’m always on.

Instead of being insecure and wondering? I just picked up the phone. Turns out he was at that very second sending me an email. We chatted, made a plan. And all is good. Very good. Who am I? Cause seriously? What woman who went on one date with a man who wanted to make another date but didn’t respond would think “I know he likes me, he just wasn’t on the computer, I’ll call him.”

Apparently me?  Or at least me, at this moment in time…when calling S1.

On a different note- I have a coffee date tomorrow in the late morning with W.

And I cannot stop thinking about an upcoming first *real* kiss with S1.


Whatcha talkin' bout Willis?