I have the front door open, we have a screen door. Sasha is LEAPING into the air, trying to claw at the handle, or claw himself on to the screen!!! The damn cat almost opened the door! Which means, I needed to shut the inside door of course….and now the cat is WAAAAAIIIIIIILING. I mean waiiiling. Not quite like a cat in heat, first of all my Sasha (despite his fluffy girly name and demeanor) is MALE…and I grew up with oodles of barn cats, at least 10-20 at any given time in my life. So I kinda know what the *meow in heat* sound is…

Look, at my Sasha Kitten…so happy…why do you want to flee from me? What can the outdoors give you that I can’t provide? And if you love it sooo much out there, why did you cry like a baby when I called out your name the 3rd time I realized you were missing? And you jumped into my arms? Why Sasha? Why? (Is it because the cheap cat food I bought is making your farts smelly and you didn’t want mama to feel bad, or smell that God awful smell coming from you?) I hope not.

Help? I need a cat behavior specialist!!!

Whatcha talkin' bout Willis?