The year 2013 is my 10th anniversary of blogging. It makes me glad to be able to go back through the archives and pull out excerpts of my life at any given moment in time. And trust me the last 10 years there has been a lot of living done on my part. I’ve noticed over the last few years–during my HAPPIEST times I have stopped the actual WRITING part on my blog and started doing lazy blogging instead. Posting photos and snippets or quick links. Sometimes doing a round-up of statuses I’ve put on Facebook or Twitter. Sure social media is partially to blame but really it’s me.
I’m happy and I know it and it is awkward for me to share. I hate this feeling but it’s true. I share everything. But when I’m in the position of getting married, quitting my job and traveling and buying a house and having the luxury to do whatever I want? Suddenly I feel bad and don’t want to muse about it in so many words. I also have used the excuse that I need to be careful because of a job hunt but really…most of the things I would write wouldn’t affect a job either way or at least not one that would be worth my while.
Time for that to end. I have the entire month of November free. FREE. No work and so many things I haven’t written down yet. No it won’t be book worthy but it will be words down on the screen almost every day. And it will be short essays that could be a book someday or thoughts that could morph into something else eventually.
I do not think however that it will turn into a play. Last night I had a dream that I wrote a play. Is it possible to have a NaNoNightmare the day before you even start writing? I woke up wracking my brain trying to figure out if I even HAD an idea in my head for a play…I don’t. I really don’t. Strange how my mind works sometimes.
But I do have ideas. And let me tell you…or myself…I am so professional jealous of others in my circles who do complete books and essays. It’s something I have in me. And something I want to do. But I’ve never really tried. Sort of like losing weight. I want and need to lose weight but I never really TRY. Why is that? Afraid of failure?
Or afraid of SUCCESS?