That pretty much sums me up perfectally!

I have been loving the weather lately. So very nice and cool to sleep at night. So nice to sleep in too late in the mornings. I have been slacking with the walking to work. I just can’t pull myself away from the covers. WHICH in the long run, makes me grumpy because I do not have time to walk to work and eat breakfast. If I could JUST get up at 5:45. Life would be good.

Tis the end of a week that turned out not so good for the Jennifer.  I am not sure what on earth I am going to do about school. ALL I KNOW is I am going to school and I AM GRADUATING. Period. How I am going to do this? I will soon find out…I meet with the school on Monday. Until then, what can I do but whine? And beat myself senseless for prior mistakes.

*Beating myself as I type*
*Not nearly as fun as it sounds*

As I got off the bus today, I saw a scattered deck of cards lying all over the ground. Ah, a metaphor for my life. So many cards to choose, that all end up on the ground. Grounded. Again. WHEN DO I TAKE FLIGHT? No matter which card I pull from the deck. I end up grounded. I am sick of it, but I am not letting it get to me.

NOT LETTING IT GET TO ME.

Although it does have me thinking, thinking, thinking…I was so very excited about the chance to pick up and start a fresh new me in NYC for the Teaching Fellows Program. SO VERY EXCITED. Shocked that I was selected for an interview, and even more surprised when I was offered a position. BUT with the timeline given, I knew it would be impossible for me to move to NYC. $$$. AND at the time, I was not even working at the fabulous new job here in Buffalo. I was floundering. The idea of an exciting life in the big city was quashed before it could begin. And to think that John was planning on being in NYC this year for Graduate School as well. The possibilities…the possibilities…did not outweigh reality. So I talked myself out of it.

So, I buckled down, decided to FINISH my law degree (now or never) and then the most perfect entry position opened up at a non profit, where I am able to network and move up and actually work on law school work while at work. And get health insurance again. And then i would be able to work and pay people back and start working toward saving up so I CAN do a Teaching Fellow program in DC or NYC next summer and then… BAM.  Not going to happen. STUCK. Again. Blah.

Maybe I am more than one cup away after all…