Top 10 *Not Really Spoilery* Things I Loved About Guardians of the Galaxy

HWMMS / Thursday, July 31st, 2014

…in no particular order.


10. I love that He Who Makes Me Smile (HWMMS) had the audacity to ask me (after having outpatient eye surgery this morning) if I would want to see the movie Guardians of the Galaxy in 3-D. Um, no. My eye is blurry enough I tell you. NOT THAT IT WOULD MATTER because  *SORT OF SPOILER ALERT* this damn movie had me HOLDING BACK UGLY TEARS in the first five minutes. Hence, eyes blurry. Yeah, HWMMS took off his glasses and wiped his eyes too. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

9. Merle, I mean Michael Rooker…played EVIL BLUE SMURF MERLE in this movie! Same evil dude, more Blue Man Group paint!

8. This movie was outlandishly excellent. Reminded me of a funny Serenity/Firefly crossed with a little Avengers. And yes, I know Nathan Fillion can do no wrong, HOWEVER his cameo part was pretty lame.

7. If you are going to cast a gorgeous bald man in a movie for the love of GOD do not make him a tree! Also, *SORT OF SPOILER ALERT* this is probably the first and last movie where a Vin Diesel character will make me cry. (And for the record that is my 2nd and last mention of crying…but I did cry 3 times during the movie.)

6. I know the raccoon was played by Bradley Cooper, but in my mind it was Ben Stiller the whole time. You know how they made the animated Hulk in Avengers sort of look like Mark Ruffalo? (See where I’m going with this?)

5. Best Kevin Bacon reference ever in a film. In fact loved all the 80s goodness. Invoking John Stamos, also excellent.

4. I’m not really a fan of long drawn out bang bang chase and fight scenes, but the one in Knowhere was somewhat dazzling to watch. I enjoy futuristic nonsensical sets.

3. I sure hope this movie helps mix-tapes make a comeback.

2. SPOILER ALERT. STAR-LORD WITH HIS SHIRT OFF WILL MAKE YOU WOOZY (in the best possible way) why on earth, I mean, why on this galaxy did they not film the entire movie with Chris Pratt shirtless? SWOON.

1. Marvel really trained their fans well, not one person got up to leave during the credits at the end…and after the credits *SORT OF SPOILER ALERT* millions of fans are now downloading the movie Howard the Duck.




Whatcha talkin' bout Willis?