Weekend Update

Alternative: How to fit a month full of fun into one weekend. (I am sooo good at this game!)

And we roll into Cleveland Friday evening…just in time for a rousing evening at the Howl at the Moon Piano Bar. Otherwise known as Erin and Stephanie’s most favorite place on earth. Some women actually like being screamed at by the crowd “you bitch, you slut, you whore.” Go figure.  Ahhh. All in good fun. A place where good girls get together and get plastered and sing at the top of their lungs, songs about “wet…tight…hot pussy.” Songs about America. Songs about booze. Songs you know by heart. Other songs very region specific, such as the O-H-I-O fight song and “Bernie, Bernie…” The thing that never ceases to amaze me about the 2nd happiest place on earth is the never-ending supply of women who think it is adorable to give the nice piano men their requests in their cleavage, in front of hundreds of people and cheered on by their friends. There are three types of girls who frequent the piano bar…ones that love to sing and have fun with their girlfriends, ones who love to sing and get up on stage and have fun with their girlfriends and ones who love to get up on stage and act like sluts. The sluts make the night worthwhile, I am surprised more men do not realize the free show they can get late at night…mature girl on girl action. And hordes of drunk girls drinking and singing and laughing. Good times.

I took quite a few pictures Friday night…Erin on stage, Giant beer bottles, Stacey’s mom (who had it going on) and the little white hat and matching little white hot pants, tubed topped Britney but not-so-much look alike…”Can I take my panties off and put them on stage..hee hee…but I’m not wearing a bra!” (At least we knew she had panties on, those pants were TIGHT!) Thankfully the adorable ear to ear grinning Weird Alesque “T” said no. No panties. Whew!

And then there were a few pictures of Tony, “the guy” who drinks the beer. First name- Tony, middle- “the guy” last name- who drinks the beer. The bartender, Tony, gets up on stage and somehow downs an entire beer in about 5 seconds. Then, as all good bartenders do, he does it again, and again, and again, and again…while everyone cheers and counts. Scary thing is? He comes on stage a few times throughout the night to do this…one time he did it while standing on his head, on top of the piano. And he even has a protege…a skinny cutie who came up on stage and did the stunt, maybe in 20 seconds instead of 10, after all someone will have to take over after Bulimic Beer Drinking Tony retires! Ahhh. Good times. :

Recovery the next day involved food. AMAZING food from the Cheesecake Factory

Upon an insistent Jennifer, we ordered the cheesecake first, our lunch followed. I had the hunger.

Because this fabulous new restaurant is located in the very new, very chic, very yuppified Legacy Village an upscale first-class “life style” retail center, the place was wall-wall packed. After being told by the hostess we would have a 20-45 minute wait, we were seated about 60 minutes later. Now, I have no problem waiting 60 minutes, if the damn hostess tells the truth, but quoting the number 20 and really meaning 45-60? Sucks and is NOT a good way to get repeat business. Bad precedent for a new restaurant in town. People are going to wait, the food is worth it…The Chicken Maderia was the best chicken dish I have ever tasted. Delicious.

After recovering from lunch we went shopping. You see, after the weather was about 80 all week I FORGOT that it might get cold. I packed only summery clothes. Brrrr. Of course I found nothing worthwhile, but another purse. My recently discovered addiction of purses must be spreading because Erin bought 2 and Stephanie bought 4. Yay! Peer pressure, I love being the one pressuring.

Now on to Brendon O’Neils and Jackdaw. Jackdaw can be found at www.brokencans.com do NOT make the same mistake that my friend Tracy did…and go to www.bigcans.com. Especially while at work! So we gather together and eat some more and then wait for the band. First set, alright. Just another Jackdaw show. Erin is out on the non-dance floor among the many cocktail tables dancing with her fellow traveling Jack and Jackies. La la la. People are tired, people go home…Erin, Tracy, Stacey and I remain. Truthfully, I would have not minded leaving with the gang…I was tired (see previous post about incurable insomnia problem…and I had almost fallen asleep the night before about an hour before we left the piano bar.) But I stay. Tracy and I scope the other side of the bar, only to find ourselves accosted by drink, drunk men. One who looked like the brother Gob on Arrested Development, stopped me and grazed the left one…under the guise of finding out what my jacket said…Alpha Delta Pi. My 10 year old windjacket which I had on because I only brought sleeveless shirts…and it was cold. I was asked to sing a song…one of those sorority songs…I refused. Much to the dismay of the other drunk Irish man (who Erin later got a drink and dancing action from) and a pharmaceutical salesman, bald bald bald…Yeah. I left to rejoin the friends by the band. Tracy and Erin went back around to do a scope and brought back the drunkards (and another hottie) who ended up tearing it up on the dance floor. INSANE dancing ensued. Pretty much within 30 minutes everyone at the bar was out on the dance floor, dancing with everyone in sight. Wholesome, spontaneous bar dancing to Jackdaw. What life is made of…I am sure the fact that most of the people at the bar had just come from a wedding with open bar helped as well…Stac and I sat at our table taking it all in…photodocumenting the occasion. Wow. The Jackdaw boys fed off the crowd and ended up playing a wildly entertaining closing set. Exhausting, exhilarating. The band ends, we say good bye to the dancing men…(even the sexy space invader bald man…John…who also did not dance with his friend but stood VERY close next to me…and tried to get very close to everyone within his proximity.) The 4 of us were alone for about 2 minutes before another group of, well, boys approached us. Blah. Dumb boys. Young and dumb. Thanks to David (Jackdaw David) who came along to interrupt. Out of there.

Finally… The Indians game. Stephanie, a high powered very important employment lawyer, had 9 tickets to her firms suite for the game. Free food and beverages included. Now I am not one for baseball, but free food! Sure!  My Cleveland girlfriends are HUGE baseball fans…since none of us, other than Stephanie, had the delight of sitting in the loge before, we were like little kids in a candy store. The 3rd happiest place on earth. And for me, free hot dogs! Oh and coffee and the paper too! Just like any other Sunday. Fun times. The Indians kicked MUCH ass…but Jody lost his streak, of something…and I got to take a photo of the largest scoreboard in the league. Thank you Stephanie for the all inclusive fancy fun!

And then we touched and went our separate ways…until next time…


Whatcha talkin' bout Willis?