Whiny. I was one lousy, whiny miserable wench the past few weeks. Wah, wah, wah…all alone. Whatever. Shaking it off…shaking it off.

I have amazing friends and family who look out for me and check in on me. I hardly deserve all the blessings they give. Thank you everyone.

Damn.

What a year it’s been! I admit I spent time thinking about Mark while sick in bed alone alone alone. Just wondering about all the things that went wrong over-thinking kind of stuff.

Seeing all the happy family pictures of my friends on Facebook with the kiddos made me feel even lonelier these past few weeks. In an alternative life, once I find the person I want to be the father of my children…I want those moments too. Desperately at times despite knowing I’m actually very happy where I am and who I am right now. The Road Not Traveled or something.

So in addition to being sick. I was feeling VERY VERY DOWN and sorry for myself. I’m sorry for those I have not been a good friend to lately because of this selfish mood. I’m not proud, but it happens from time to time. Thank you for loving me despite myself.