No!!!!!!!!!!!!
Viewed 27 times.
So I did something last night. I put a profile up on Match.com. And when I woke up this morning (early by the way) and checked my account I noticed it had been viewed 27 times.
Ha! I’d take it as a sign if I didn’t know better. 
Two reasons why I signed up.
1. My friend told me she signed up and has been enjoying conversation back and forth with a nice gentleman. She was nervous and excited and well, I want that too…what am I waiting for? No day but today!
2. Um, I’m having *feelings* that are misplaced and misguided even if only in the moment and I need to break out of this cycle. The man I have been seeing well I guess since May? (Met in January hung out for a few weeks and then had a few month hiatus while I went off and found someone else to have *feelings* for instead which were misplaced and misguided.)
Bah.
Now, this should be a good thing…but when I know and he knows already that ultimately neither one of us are truly long-term potential it gets scary. Why am I doing this AGAIN? Why do I even let myself meet these people to fall for in the first place? In fairness, the *feelings* might have been more in the moment, per se, which always seems to be very tender and loving and caring and doting. Which sadly, is not something I’ve been very used to. So I can see where I am easily misled.
Lately there have been moments of well, he accidentally said something to his cat like “mama” will give you attention go to her…or *we* when he is looking at houses. But not really.
So my point is this. He isn’t right for me ultimately and I already sort of know this. And he sort of knows this. Or we sort of assume this.
What am I DOING and what am I WAITING FOR?
Obviously I’m having fun in the moment and taking life day to day which is a huge step for me. I’m quite happy actually. Things are basically pretty good.
Why not put a profile up and just see what happens right? I spent too much time into the wee hours of the morning searching around…near and far and all I can say is there weren’t really any nerdy, preppy types. Hardly ANYONE with glasses, cause you know that’s the most important thing right? (Ha.) I even expanded my normal search and included men who were divorced, separated and widowed and ones who already have children. I did however make SURE that a *MUST HAVE* included someone who DEFINITELY wants children (not even just someday wants children…) and someone who is NOT atheist. Maybe that’s the key. All the people I fall for *might* want to have children someday. I don’t want to truly rule them out, but I know I want to have a family if so blessed. What’s the point of looking for a maybe/someday type? Or maybe I’m a maybe/someday type too?
I’ll let you know what happens. Chances are I will be deleting the profile in how many days? Anyone want to take bets? I say by the weekend.
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