How do you measure?

Dear God. I work up this morning in a sweat. Over a nightmare. I was at some event somewhere where I got a phone call and someone was supposed to deliver a message to me that “so-and-so” passed away.

“So-and-so?” I said? Not having a clue who it was…until I realized who they meant to say.

And all I said was “It’s over.”

I woke up, turned to Mark and started crying. (And I’m fighting tears just writing this.)

My best friend Jen’s mama is sick. Really, really, really scary sick. She has been for sometime, fighting a late stage breast cancer for almost two years, but this time…well, all we can do is pray. All I want to do is be in Cleveland to hug Jen and to cry with her and to take her out for coffee and play with her little boy and give her time with her Dad and Husband with her mama. All I want is for Mama Ru to be not in pain. I don’t ever want to hear those words from my dream this morning. But more than anything I don’t want Mama Ru to be suffering so badly. This is truly heartbreaking, and really hard for me. I love this family so… And here I am in Buffalo listening to stories of one of my best friends in the world standing strong and supporting her family. Somehow she is able to do it all…hold herself together, go to work, go to this hospital, raise her little boy and take care of little boy #2 on the way. And thinking of her mom? Ugh. Mama Ru is her best friend. A mother-daughter relationship that is the envy of the world. I have no words that can comfort her…all I know is more than anything in the world, I want to be there for her. I hate to see my friends in pain. And this time, with this family of friends. It’s a heartbreaker…please keep the family in your prayers.