Me: You do have to have a mask on in the hospital.

Him: CDC EXEMPTION FOR ASTHMA. (Smug grin.)

Me: Yep, me too – I have asthma. (CLEARLY WEARING A MASK)

I’m gonna need so much more coffee. Spiked, with something to block out my mind from ignorance.

Sure sure. It’s only been almost THREE YEARS IN A PANDEMIC but sure…

Have I ever mentioned that I hate early mornings? Good. So it is GORGEOUS outside and all I want to do is sleep when I get home. Sure, I can sleep on the hammock later after the sun goes down but for the meantime nap in bed instead of enjoying the most beautiful late October day ever. Sigh.

I’ve been dizzy and experiencing vertigo on and off for – well, months now and tonight was probably the worst. Every time I moved up or down or quickly turned to the side, light-headedness. Not good. Also not good, Dr. Google. Because I convinced myself I had congestive heart failure and couldn’t believe I haven’t had ALL THE HEART TESTS YET BECAUSE MY BREATHING HAS BEEN BAD TOO AND I DON’T (think) I WANT TO DIE. WHY DO I HAVE SUCH HORRID HEARTBURN ON TOP OF IT?

Yeah. SPIRAL —– whoosh!

HWMMS, Evil Twin and I had tickets to the theater this evening to see our friend Kelly. Evil Twin had to cancel. Which made me feel INSTANTLY better knowing I was feeling like poo but didn’t want to cancel – which is against my rule of living the last year —- listen to my body above everything else. I called the box office and the tickets were refunded and ready for someone to enjoy. Thank goodness for the way it worked out because I was pretty much miserable most of the night.

I hate disappointing people, but I hate not looking out for myself even more. Why is this so difficult for me to honor without feeling guility?