Day #22 – All Things Laid Off

UGH. I just sent my “last day” email out to my Foundry Family.

I’m completely selfishly heavy-hearted about this. Even though I knew it was inevitable…With no expectation of return…

I’m (I was…) the Business Manager for a scrappy (amazing) nonprofit business incubator and educational makerspace. An unsustainable mission in these dire times. I can’t stop thinking of all our local small businesses that aren’t going to make it. (Loans? Arugh!) I’m numb. I love my job and I worry about how they will recover.

I’m scared in a few weeks there won’t be unemployment benefits left for everyone who needs them.

I know I’ll be fine, I just have to grieve the loss of something I really loved. Another job will find me, eventually…

Or I could just focus on writing?

Future Memoir: I Just Want To Stay In Bed Forever: A Tale of Depression/ Anxiety, Possible Covid-19 But Can’t Get Tested & I’m Unemployed

I’m just…profoundly sad right now.

Nothing feels. Nothing feels real anymore. It’s. Oh. I don’t know.

I don’t see it getting better. I’m scared. I’m helpless.

HWMMS: Are you going to try to get some sleep?
Me: Nope.
HWMMS: Why?
Me: Cause everything is terrible and I just ate a fistful of lunchmeat and cried.

I mean if you’re not on the verge of tears at all times are you even living in the year 2020?