Fate has a way of screwing with you…

I decide, to get OUT of bed. Which is a hefty accomplishment for me today, believe me…I read Us Weekly, I read Newsweek, I post about how I am going to spend my weekend reading…(my substitute for All Things Love)

AND I GO INTO THE KITCHEN…to make a pot of coffee.

Coffee, like reading. Will soothe my soul. Strong kick in the ass covered with tons of cream and sugar to take off the bite…

Alas, the dishes need to be done, I must wash the coffee pot.
(does anyone see where this is going right now?)

I do ALL THE DISHES…I put the clean coffee pot on the countertop and it SLIDES OFF AND ONTO THE FLOOR and breaks into hundreds of shattered pieces.

AAAAAAAARGH. Cannot win.

All Things Jennifer, inadvertently will never get what she wants. Thank you fated coffee pot for reminding me on this miserable, cold grey chilly day which is MUCH better suited for lying in bed then getting up in the first place.

Now I am not sad I am  PISSED OFF.

UPDATE: And this is why you all love me…pissed off Jen, took the ceramic sugar jar (which she also washed out so nice and clean and managed to keep in one piece…and put IT under the coffee spout. Now I only need to add milk! And get the coffee in the cup

UPDATE to the aforementioned UPDATE:
(Cause if you can’t laugh at yourself there is no hope of finding someone to laugh with you) Oh no, this is too good.

I went to the coffee maker and looked in the ceramic container. Only a cup? Huh? Oh shit…my coffeemaker is one of those stupid sensor ones…the boiled water is BUILT up in the filter, as soon as I open the lid I am splashed. I try to move the coffee maker and the grounds and water spill ALL OVER me and the antique unfinished buffet table…Everything SMELLS LIKE COFFEE BUT THERE IS NO SATISFACTION! Ugh, the worse kind of hell. And to think I was too ashamed to mention that the coffee itself was Maxwell House Ground Roast instead of beans I get to grind…The worse kind of hell…the perpetual *ha, so close!*

AND I CAN’T EVEN MUSTER UP THE ENERGY TO GO TO MY FAVORITE FREE REFILL COFFEE JAUNT NOW!!!

I need.

1. Coffee

2. Something (quite specific)to get my mind off of my need for coffee and reading.