I am not sure what the heck song this title is from, but that line is going through my head!

Anyhow. I need a male. A local male who wants to do me a HUGE favor.

I need a witness for my trial technique class.

I am representing the People of the State of New York prosecuting an assault by a hockey player upon another hockey player…smashed his head and his eye. Yucky stuff. He is going DOWN.

But I need a witness. The prosecution has two for this mock trial.
ONE is the Injured and PISSED OFF Hockey Player, LaDerriere (I wish I was making this up)

The other is a croctechy coach, who has been in the league for decades, a real bruiser.

(Yes, this is modeled after a real case…and I actually have been told that I know the the cousin of your defendant from college!)

My co-counsel has secured one law student to play one of the roles, I am supposed to find the other.

Acting skills are needed. A little script, and understanding of the case…

You would need to be free at least ONE Tuesday night in October (from 530-830) to come on campus to go through questioning. AND free on the date of the trial which is Saturday December 3rd (downtown at the courthouse) as well as Friday December 2nd for the *practice run*

Compensation includes…

1. Watching Jennifer make a fool out of herself pretending she knows hockey. (The judge did say that he sees a little *smartass* in me  and that was only after my very first unprepared nervous opening statement)

2. Watching Jennifer get over her eye phobia enough to say things like “A subcillary incision was made along the right lower eyelid. Dissection was performed in a preseptail plane down to the right infra-orbital rim” WITHOUT SQUIRMING!!! AUGH!! (Still not happening…I have a few weeks…)

3. FREE BEER AND FOOD on Dec 2nd AND Dec 3rd. Courtesy of the law school and my lovely Judge (Instructor of our class) The Honorable Patrick Carney. Seriously, I think that half of our grade is decided at the party before/afterwards BRING ON THE TEQUILA.

4. My undying gratitude?

5. Perhaps even a hockey game with me…since I know nothing about the sport and must pretend to have a clue…

6. I also will accept any reasonable requests for compensation.

Email me if interested…hell, email me if not interested but you feel bad for me! PLEASE and thank you!