Coupons SUCK!

I have been the little coupon clipper since I can remember…I was the one who can name almost to the dollar how much the weekly grocery bill was going to come out to. I love grocery shopping. I love saving money on double and triple coupons. I remember as a young lad, sitting in Aunt Sylvia’s kitchen nook going over her pile of coupons. She would save them for months at a time and when we would come and visit I would sit around and go through them and be in clip heaven. Oh, back then expiration dates lasted a little longer…not two weeks. (I just tried to redeem a rebate from Ballentine Sparkling Wine—save $10 on 6 bottles. And yes 6 bottles was not that outrageous it was my 30th birthday and I was with friends…I tried to send in the rebate this week and the rebate EXPIRED on 1/4/04!) Ok back to the point. People who tend to be frugal, clip coupons. You know single, unemployed types who enjoy saving that extra $10 on a grocery bill (but have no problem buying a grande margarita at Cozumel yup the street for $7 a shot. Yum!) ANYHOW.

THESE are examples of the coupons I found in this weeks Sunday paper. And what I think about them.

Save $1 on 3 WishBone Dressings, and $1 on 3 I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter Spreads.
Because who buys salad dressings or butter in triplicate? Oh I know, this way you can not double the coupon. 10 years ago it would have been 25 cents off of 1 package, 5 years ago 50 cents off of 2 packages…able to double, but today? WHAT A BARGAIN!

Save $1 on 3 bags of Ore-Ida Frozen Potatoes
And WHO has room in a little freezer for 3 bags of frozen potatoes?

Save $1 on 2 Jars of Miracle Whip Spread
Unless you are planning on making enough Summer salads to feed an army, who uses even one jar of Miracle Whip spread before it expires beyond the estimated shelf life?

Save $2 on any 2 Herbal Essence Hair Color Products
Ok, this one makes sense for people with long hair who need to buy 2 packages, but again? Are you supposed to go in on the color with a friend? Is this a deal?

Save $2 when you buy 2 boxes of Orville Redenbacher Pop Corn PLUS 2 2-liters of Coke Products.
This is the worse. You must buy 2 in column A and two in column B to get the big dollar off! I feel like I am filling out an employment tax form, show two forms of identification one from this group, one from that…does anyone redeem this kind?

Save $1 on 2 Philadelphia To Go Packages
Ok, this one I had to bitch about in principle. How much is a package of this stuff anyhow? It is a bagel and a little package of cream cheese, wrapped in a convienent to-go on the run package? WHAT? Can a person not grab one of 6 Lenders Bagels and throw them in a plastic baggie anymore? Geez.