Ding Dong. Am I the only person out there who doesn’t answer an unsolicited doorbell? (By unsolicited I mean ANY DOORBELL EVER?)

I mean, if I’m expecting you…I’ll answer.

If I’m not expecting you…you have my number, right?

If you don’t have my number, I probably don’t want to see you without notice.

If you are my landlord? You live downstairs and will knock on my door.

If you are the postman, you will leave the package on the door (or a nice little slip for me to retrieve at another time.)

Anyone else is probably trying to sell me shoveling or raking services and I’m just a renter, ring the other doorbell.

Anyone selling religion? No thank you. God knows I would never answer the doorbell.

Anyone asking me to sign a petition? I live on the West Side of Buffalo for the Love of God and am registered in the NOTCITYOFBUFFALO party. No one is asking me to sign a petition where I live.

Anyone else? I tend to be in various states of undress (no pants) 90% of the time I’m home…tis why I love living by myself thankyouverymuch. Don’t make me put on pants.

And if you are Mr. Right with a bouquet of freshly cut daffodils from your country estate coming to sweep me off my feet?  I’m likely dreaming. Or drinking. Or dreaming after drinking.

MWAHAHAHAHA. YOU CAN’T FIND ME DRINKING WITHOUT PANTS ON IF I NEVER ANSWER THE DOORBELL!

That said, I wonder who was ringing my doorbell a few minutes ago.