I would go back in time to the birth of *Murphy* you know that fella who coined *Murphy’s Law* and I would beat him to a pulp make sure that his parents never meet and have sex thus creating the genius child so said theories of *Murphy’s Law* would be erased from existence.

And then just maaaaaaybe my friends, today would not suck.

But since this is only a dream? And I only know a Doc Smith and not a Doc Brown?

Today sucks. Big time. I am a miserable excuse of human flesh.

Let us pretend that for once, once, Jennifer decides that she is going to attempt to do her school work at WORK, which is possible, but impossible because of all the 10000’s of interruptions so I never end up doing school work because I cannot concentrate anyhow. Well, friends, let us pretend that I decided to go to bed last night at 12:30 thinking I could get at least a few hours of school work that I needed to do…done at work the next day (today).

You see where this is going, right?

Now let us come into work and find that the server is down, until 9. Until 11:30, wait until tomorrow. No computer for Jen! No possible way to type up the assignment that she should have had typed up but DID NOT DO because EVERY OTHER DAY SINCE SHE HAS BEEN HERE the computers have been up and running.

Sure. No problem. Screw it. I will take an hour lunch. Do work on paper and somehow type it later.

OH YEAH, except lets have an ASAP busy work project that 6 people in the building have to work on. Stick labels on pledge cards. Stick pledge cards in matching envelopes. EXCEPT the matching envelopes are already labeled with addresses…OH AND THEY ARE OUT OF ORDER with the labels on the sheet. So, like a preschooler? You hunt and sort until you find the name Mr. Murphy in the pile of 500 envelopes. FUN GAME!

Fun, no?

These projects ARE a part of my daily duties. (Except for the hunt and sort, they USUALLY are in order!) BUT NOT TODAY!!!! But these projects occur, oh, perhaps, every 2-3 weeks or so without notice. No problem!!!

EXCEPT TODAY WAS THE DAY THAT I CHOSE TO GO TO BED INSTEAD OF STAYING UP EXHAUSTED TO COMPLETE MY WORK.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Fuck you Murphy. FUCK YOU.

So on said lunch hour? I sneak into an office with a computer that is ON (not all computers are on the same network) and blog instead…to release frustrations. And really? I haven’t had time to do any work this morning to type on the computer ANYHOW! So there is no big loss. Right?

UPDATE:

Joke is really on me. Cause after lunch I see that the VERY kind IT man hooked up a regular computer (with most basic access) at my desk. So I am typing my work into an email.

BUT more labels and letters have arrived and they are never ending.
Fantastic.

If anyone has a bottle of vodka, please bring it to my place of employment.