AAAAUGH! I had a 3:00 meeting, after the meeting I was back at my desk and realizing, I’m feeling sick again. My chest hurts. My head hurts THIS FREAKING SUCKS!

I came home and took medicine and a short nap. And I’m a wee better, but coughy from the drippy crap going down the back of my throat into my chest.

Holy crap, when on earth am I going to feel better? Grrrr.

And in other news…

My grammy was permanently placed in the County Home today, after a few weeks of waiting for a placement.

🙁

In some ways, this is a good thing…she needs more nursing assistance than she is getting at home. And she will have LOTS of social interaction, which I think is really important.

But in other ways, geez…when did Gma get so old and so…so…sick? I’m not so sure I am ready to face these facts…this is where my Gma now lives. Lives. Never to come home…

Years ago, God, how many years? when Gpa was first placed in the home I was beside myself. I remember being in law school and working overnights and still taking the hour drive down the 90 once sometimes twice a week after class to spend time with him in the early evenings. Just to be at his side, while he sat there and watched baseball. I couldn’t STAND the thought of him being alone there.

Gpa made it home for a while and then went back when things were really bad a few years later. Ugh, going to see him at the home was always so heartbreaking. I pretty much had to leave the room everytime I visited, and found myself crying in the bathroom, getting myself back together and continuing the visit. Even during the happy times, like when we celebrated Gma and Gpa’s 50th Anniversary, just knowing he was there, made me sad. I know that at least right now, the situation is different with Gma. But…well, I don’t know where the time has gone. She’s aged a lifetime since Gpa passed away, it breaks my heart.

I have to start being a better Grandaughter and spending more time with her… and sending her more letters.

(And now I’m crying.)