Thankful. Yeah, I just can’t get with it today, blah, blah, blah. I’m tired of being tired. I’m tired of feeling blah.

And I can’t help but think that there are so many larger problems out there in the world, mine are but petty and solely my own.

I’m incredibly wealthy. I’m blessed with the most amazing friends (and family.) Everywhere I look there’s someone offering me a smile, a kind word, a place to stay, a shoulder to cry on. Thank you. It’s overwhelming. I’m being well taken care of.

SURPRISE! The universe opened itself right before my very eyes. I *planned* on waiting until I made it through the end of the year, had some quiet time to myself, made it through a few sessions of therapy and put some of those meds back into my system that bring my anxiety/depression down to a manageable level…before having the heart-to-heart with Mark about what we were doing and where our future was really heading, but, somehow that plan didn’t work. Instead, the conversation naturally flowed…and naturally stalled right in the same exact place it’s been stalling for so very long. And I had enough. I couldn’t hear *the silence* one more time. I didn’t want to hear I don’t know, when I know. And I know, now.

And then I freaked out. It wasn’t what I wanted. I wasn’t sure. I don’t know either. Sigh.

(But I do know…)

I guess everything happens for a reason right?

I switched back to my own health insurance in the beginning of October. I have a bit of money tucked aside, a wee bit compared to everyone else’s standards but some. For the first time, ever.

I actually wrote two wee pieces for Buffalo Spree Magazine this past month. Something I’ve been wanting to focus on for sometime…writing.

All these things, for myself…

All of these things, on my own.

But not really on my own, because I have lots of good people at my side.

I’m currently staying at the home of one of my very best friends. Sharing the same space was too damn sad and I couldn’t do it anymore. I have a spare room all to myself. And  I have the use of one of their cars since they both work from home. I’m incredibly appreciative…

Even more important? I just got a goodnight kiss from the sweetest little girl.  “I love Jen.” Getting to know my best friends daughter, priceless.

Tomorrow I will probably spend time with my brother and family.

And next weekend I think I’m going home with Linda Lu to Dunkirk/Fredonia.

Life is good. I am blessed. And very thankful.