I had a long day yesterday.

Since, I had been without health insurance for a year and a half, before getting coverage through my fabulous new job at the local non profit agency, I desperately needed to check in at a few doctors around town. You know the basics like, get Allegra, get a referral to a chiropractor, get put in stirrups, and get drops in my eyes to make the pupils larger than Billy Fucillo’s ego. Fun times.

A LONG day.

Two weeks ago, I picked up my new glasses from Pearle Vision and the specialist there told me “I think your inocular lens shifted on your left eye” Hmmm, for a person with a SEVERE EYE PHOBIA who has gone through two cataract surgeries and the subsequent laser procedure on the left eye, um, how shall I say it? THIS FREAKED ME OUT!!! Nevertheless, I called my eye doctor/surgeon and got an appointment like I knew I should. AND I figured since the only available time the eye doctor had was late morning, and I would be taking off of work anyhow, I MIGHT as well follow up with my PCP and stop the allergy madness once again. And what the heck, might as well try for other yearly doctors too! I somehow managed to fit in all my doctors visits in one day. No joke! Sheer miracle, considering I called only two weeks ago.

Yep friends, yesterday was that day…

My PCP was fine, the second doctor is never a favourite but a necessity and the THIRD BRINGS ME TO SHEER PANIC PROPORTIONS when I imagine the probing and prodding. (My OB/GYN was the second, the third is the eye doctor, just in case probing and prodding threw you off…)

I am scared to death of two things. TUNNELS and eyeballs.

This past weekend Erin and I drove to Maryland and we had to pass through the Allegheny mountain via tunnel. This is how Jen(nifer) fun with phobia #1 turned out.

I thought I would play it smooth and continue my casual conversation upon entering the tunnel of death…no big deal, la la la, I’m still talking to Erin, didn’t skip a beat, she doesn’t even REMEMBER I am scared of tunnels and that I am having a difficult time breathing and speaking at the same time….we are following behind a boxy truck WHICH means I CANNOT SEE THE LIGHT and WE ARE GOING SO DAMN SLOW….I am still talking about something

“OH MY GOD GET ME OUT OF HERE!”

I just couldn’t pretend anymore, my palms were sweaty, it was hard to breathe..my heart was racing, I .still could not see the light even though Erin insisted it was there…longest 2 minutes ever.

Unless you count the 2 minutes of terror I have at the eye doctor everytime I go. Yep. Look STRAIGHT into the light, try not to blink…keeeeep looking straight at me (the calm, but nowhere near reassuring voice tells me) as he APPROACHES MY EYE WITH A METAL OBJECT! Nope, you don’t FEEL anything, but I have been through it enough times to know that, said metal instrument IS GOING TO BE TOUCHING MY EYEBALL AND WHAT HAPPENS IF I FLINCH AND HE POKES ME AND I GO BLIND? No pressure there Mr. Eye doctor, no pressure at all.

Where was I? Oh yeah, eye doctor late yesterday afternoon. Everything is fine. ; )Pearle Vision was wrong. People with fake inocular lenses have more glares and sometimes blurry vision, comes with the territory, he already poked a hole in the lens with a laser a few years ago, nothing more to be said. AND no eye pressure tests needed either. (I think they know by now!) A trip to the eye doctor with only the DROPS and not the bursts of air or the metal probe. Now THAT is a good visit! But boy, the anticipation of the stress sure is exhausting afterwards!

HURRAH! I was free to leave and head to Shakepeare in the Park with my Allegheny Alpha Delta Pi Buffalo sisters. Erin, Rachel, Susan, Mary and Jill! (Mary and Jill are newly reacquainted younger sisters and Susan is newly married to a WNYer and living here too!) Erin and Rachel are two of my bestest friends. A reunion of sorts…I needed the break after my very long day of doctors and remembering that only 6 months ago my life was sheer hell on earth and I had to recount all the bad stuff and why I have not been to a doctor in the past year ….yeah. You get the idea. All I wanted was to be in a group of friends, YET not really have to *be* which is why HAMLET would have been perfect. BUT NOPE.

RAIN RAIN RAIN. Because whenever I PLAN on seeing Shakespeare in the Park, it rains. So, we headed out to Cole’s for dinner instead. Which was nice, but I wasn’t feeling as social as usual, I kinda wanted, nope I REALLY wanted to be at Shakepeare. Quiet and mind off of long day 🙁

End of the night? I went to bed happy to see my friends, (and learned that Ms. Mary was moving around the block from me in two weeks!) but damn exhausted and disappointed in the overall day. I did not want to be reminded of my shitty past. And I was unhappy about the rain.

Wah. Bedtime commences.

So? How did I wake UP THIS MORNING? Hmmm, to Shredd giving the local weather report saying *Hot and Humid, High 90’s…TOMORROW the same HIGH 95!*

95?

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I lept out of bed, screaming, (no really I was screaming, ask Erin who was in the shower)

“I DON’T FREAKING LIVE IN TEXAS! 95! I HATE THIS WEATHER!!!”

How many days till fall? Sigh…

Lucky for me, I very specifically planned NOT to see Hamlet tonight. Too HOT RIGHT? And I very specifically asked a few friends if they would want NOT to join me there. But no one tagged along. So twas me, myself and I headed to the park. Which was funny to think about because, I have no problem going someplace like that alone, in fact yesterday I craved being together and yet alone. So being alone alone should have been comforting. But no, I was wishing I had someone to come with instead. Because a Jen(nifer) is NEVER satisfied, yes, yes, I know 😉 HOWEVER, this self pity lasted about 5 minutes, until I rolled over on my violet quillo set a few rows back from front center of the stage and started people watching and reading back issues of the New Yorker. And then Hamlet started.

(Review on the most excellent play forthcoming that is not what this post is about…)

By the time the play was finished it was 11:00. Dark and not muggy anymore. I walked home along the magnificent tree lined streets of Lincoln and Chapin Parkway. Utterly content to be alone with my thoughts, smiling listening to the crickets…and stealing glances into the lives of the Buffalo elite in their lit up homes. If only…someday. The walk took about 20 minutes. And I can honestly say that I was the most peaceful and content person I have been all year….I adore where I live. And as much as I despise the hot temperatures of this humid summer, I know that my favourite place in Buffalo ONLY exists in this fashion during these few short weeks. Shakespeare in the Park. Dog walking along Hoyt Lake. Wedding receptions at Marcy Casino. Pictures in the Rose Garden. Children on the playground. Visitors at the Albright Knox. Picnics on the lawn with jazz on Sunday. There’s no place I would rather be…

So tonight? I come home peaceful and at rest. Thank you Buffalo for reminding me that all is well in my world once again.

Good night.