He he he.

Woke up this morning. Showered. Put on a pretty outfit and my pearls. Grabbed the Sunday paper, some b-fast and coffee and headed over to Erin’s house. Why? Well, we wanted to go to church after confirming our intuitive nature with the Belief O Matic.

The funny thing is, Erin and I are actually UP and ready to go to church. I have attended St. Paul’s Cathedral downtown this past year…and I knew that they were having an annual meeting today, but I could SWEAR that the 11:00 service was still scheduled. Nope. I checked once I got to Erin’s at 10:00 and they are having a 10:00 service instead. Oops. So we are headed over to St. John’s Grace Episcopal instead. Happy Sunday to you all!

Song playing:
I had “The Old Rugged Cross” in my head, no joke…now it is this song.

One Way Ticket by Leanne Rimes.
Yes I know that it is a “break-up song”…however it is very motivational…for life…which LEADS to love. : ) Love thyself first.

“Standing on the border, looking out into the great unknown. I can feel my heart beating faster as I step out on my own. There’s new horizon and the promise of favorable wind. I’m heading out tonight, traveling light. I’m gonna start all over again…And buy one way ticket on a west bound train, see how far I can go (Because I can) I’m gonna go out dancing in the pouring rain and talk to someone I don’t know…

Well, I have walked through the fire and crawled on my knees through the valley of the shadow of doubt. Then the truth came shining like a light on me and now I can see my way out…”

Notes from Church
Very interesting. I have a new weekly feature idea. Church. The first Episcopal church I went to in Buffalo was the Cathedral downtown. I wanted a big, grand magnificent building. I wanted fancy. It was close to my apartment. I ended up finding it to be exactly what I wanted it to be. Heavy on the rituals, but not so far from what I already am used to…meaning I knew the prayers and when to kneel and stand, for the most part. A few things were different. They do a healing ceremony every service, anointing of the oil…the communion takes place kneeling up at the altar in a group, the gospel is read from the aisle of the church, there is a large procession in and out of the church by the choir and church officials. It was nice. After the service I was greeted and asked many questions…and invited to come back. I liked it.

Today, I tried a different church. And boy, it was different! I had no idea. I would say this service was much more “Methodist” if that makes any sense. It was a smaller church, small choir up front. (Not like the Men’s Choir at the cathedral that is AMAZING!) During the sign of peace, well, everyone shook hands, walked around hugged….Erin and I were the only ones in the pews. The prayers and responses were different. The stand-kneel moments were iffy. We had to look around first. Not the same at all. Who knew? I enjoyed the sermon about “threshold living” moving from the past to the future…but my mind was not occupied like it usually is in church. I felt out of place. I realized I am definitely 30, checking out the two men in their early 40s in front of me…with children. Not checking out, checking out, per se ; ) but realizing that I wanted to be the person standing next to my 40 something husband in church with kids someday. Although, knowing me, my husband will not be sitting next to me at all, he will be in the Men’s Choir or the lectern for the day. Leadership role. So attractive. I want to be the lady in the red suit in front of me….the one that is well dressed, in her 60s looks like she is suited to run for political office. She was there with her son (see above mentioned man) and I assume their granddaughter. A lovely lady. A lovely family. I once again, verified and realized how very much I want this life… someday.

Tale of Two Grandmothers
Long blogtimeago, I think I mentioned a feeling of guilt toward the idea of abandoning the religion of my Smith family to go to the Episcopal church, which is interesting considering I abandoned the faith of my MOTHERS side of the family, Methodist, to become a Catholic. (Never confirmed though…) Anyhow. Today in church I was finding the perfect balance. Not feeling the guilt at all. Many things in the Catholic Church I disagree with. And the Episcopal religion seems to rectify this problem. Equal rights for women, Male leaders can marry and have families, All are welcome to share in communion etc…etc…And the ritual that I crave from the Catholic church, is the same. I guess I am finding the compromise between my two Grandma’s. Growing up I attended the Sheridan United Methodist Church with my mom’s side of the family and I went to VBS in the summer and I was an acolyte…then in 5th grade I decided to go to St. John’s Bosco with my Gma Smith and I attended CCD class and took first communion and sang in the choir and watched my brother in his alter boy outfit. Now I have seemingly found the cross between the two. I can have my coffee hour after reflecting during mass and actually believe in the “rules” of the church. Go figure. Forum shopping for a place of worship.