My introduction:

Howdy!

I’m so glad to be here – I’ve been wanting to sign up for a writing workshop for years and years and some excuse always got in the way, until now. Let’s go!

I’ve been writing and telling stories since able to hold a crayon. And way back  before social media (ah, remember those days?) I started blogging in 2003 and for the most part, never stopped. All Things Jennifer. I write about, all things.

A few things about me (All Things?)

  1. Born and raised in a small town;. Currently living life large, in a small town. I refer to it was Weber Wonderland.
  2. I studied Political Science – Social Work – Law. I ended up serving a fruitful career working for nonprofits – marketing, development, volunteer management, community relations, event planning – all of it.
  3.  I’ve been a lifelong advocate for mental health awareness being a person who has depression/anxiety.
  4. Celebrating my 10th year wedding anniversary this weekend. My husband and I found each other later in life. No kiddos – but two big brindle doggos and three cats. And so many plants. Did I mention a lot of plants? And gardens. I love playing in the dirt, which I suppose makes me a dirty girl. (Cough, cough.)
  5. Back in March 2020, I was sick for over 6 weeks with what is now “presumed” to be COVID – no testing at the time!  Since then, I never quite recovered, experiencing bouts of fatigue and asthma and a jump in blood sugar readings with Type 2 diabetes. I’ve recently been diagnosed with the autoimmune disorder – psoriatic arthritis.  Add in perimenopause, because —-well 48 years old.  All these “new” midlife medical issues have been an adjustment in my professional work life – no more full-time life. And I’m struggling learning how to scale back and rest/heal.

And that’s more than I thought I was going to say, so – with that – I’m looking forward to meeting and reading and knowing and learning from everyone in this group. Cheers!

Notes from Week One: 

Personal essays are short pieces. Sometimes very short, often between 750 and 1500 words.

Here are the major elements of personal essay writing that distinguish it from other genres:

  1. Attention to the craft of writing. The writer uses word choice, character development, dialogue, pacing, sensory details, scenes, theme, and figurative language to tell a story, just as a fiction writer would.
  2. The story is about something small. Not small in terms of its meaning to you or others, but small as in specific. Start tiny. You start with a laser beam focus on that one particular moment and memory, and then express what you learned and how you changed.
  3. A situation and a story. Your essay should have both: the situation, or “the context or circumstance, sometimes the plot” as well as the “story,” or the “emotional experience that preoccupies the writer.” Outer story is the structure of the story, the logical flow of events and information, or plot. Inner story, answers the question “why?” It’s the “journey of meaning” that the reader takes in reading the story.
  4. A moment when something changed.  But did that moment change you? Really change you? Will your telling of that experience change the reader? But were you truly changed as a person by it? It’s the moments that we remember. And these moments form the basis of the scenes in our personal essays.

“If you want to be a writer, you must do two things above all others: read a lot and write a lot.” – Stephen King

How do I write the best?

  • Oh my, when do I write best? I’m all over the place. I’m decidedly not a morning person – but afternoon or into the wee hours of the morning are more my style. I don’t really have any discipline or routine – AND THAT NEEDS TO CHANGE.
  • I write “in my head” ALL THE TIME. Which turns into lists and blurbs and blog posts and and and. The time is now to get serious and focused.

Run through your life, as if you’re watching clips from a movie. What are the events and experiences you’re seeing?

  1. ER vpanic attack after Durham Bulls game – watching Princess Diana coverage in the lobby.
  2. Smith antique furniture being “moved” from childhood home.
  3. Dad on respirator in ICU watching Cher “If I Could Turn Back Time” on Entertainment Tonight,
  4. Writing the book “The Green Man” in 1st grade.
  5. First date with HWMMS – hat trick. No expectations, never ending one night stand. 
  6. Meeting Lowest of the Low same weekend as brother graduated Chiro. Different life experiences.
  7. Working at McDonalds – hoping it would make me hate their food. Drive – Thru antics.
  8. Brother’s Wedding – Howie & Mindy
  9. Howie – Pool Game
  10. House hunting – no pool – pool.
  11. Sisters hospital – nurse asking if I was going to harm myself, niece born upstairs.
  12. Morning after prom – making out – stepmom. Born again Christian.
  13. Cousin Jodi having a seizure.
  14. Kindergartens class coming to house for bunnies.
  15. Mount Vernon, seeing GW grave, Lincoln Memorial
  16. Law School “Smartass” Custody case….
  17. Assault at Gateway, showing up the next day.
  18. Finding my mom’s dirty erotica stash
  19. Removing dads gravestone, hating cemeteries.
  20. Music Man HS – Music Man SCA (Be in charge, just be married.) Strive to be more, be the lead, be the director….
  21. Therapy – Better if your dad was still alive? Crutch –
  22. Always ask for a bag – wine bottle.
  23. Overnight shift at TOPS – shut off prices
  24. Tim and I sick – Challenger explosion
  25. First psychic reading – (RICHARD OMG????) Big City long time, no kids.
  26. DC John
  27. Mark Breakup

NARROW DOWN

  • Law School “Smartass” Custody case….
  • Music Man HS – Music Man SCA (Be in charge, just be married.) Strive to be more, be the lead, be the director….
  • Dad on respirator in ICU watching Cher “If I Could Turn Back Time”
  • First date HWMMS – hat trick. No expectations, never ending one night stand.

Law School – Expectations vs. Reality

  • Big emotion – accomplishment – failure.
  • Willing to share/be vulnerable? – Maybe…
  • Compelled to write? Compelled, not so much.
  • Series of images & moments?
    • Comp dedication to dad – argumentative
    • Nina T – Supreme Court – Con Law
    • Judge Carney “bit of a smartass”
    • Legal Writing “might have been a good writer in college but…”
    • Hockey- something I knew nothing about, learned…
    • Law Guardian Class – representing abusive father
    • Legal Services for Elderly – guardianship case, shut down phone too busy, lawyers making $22K a year
    • Depression starts…………….
  • Moment of Change – Would never be able to serve as I thought, shift focus

Music Man HS – Music Man SCA

  • Big emotion – Nostalgia
  • Willing to share/be vulnerable? – Er, yessss? But mom parallel – maybe not yet?
  • Compelled to write? Compelled, no. Interesting story weaved perhaps?
  • Series of images & moments?
    • Want a “bigger” part (not confident or good enough) but the mom part is boring. So jealous. Wanted to be the better one.  HOWEVER Pick a little lady was a lot of fun. Able to play, fake fainting…First Boyfriend – Falling in love…Shipoopi
    • Wanted Eulalie – (not confident, but definitely good enough this time….auditioning hard!) So jealous. BUT being paired with Chuck was much more fun.
    • Always wanting that something more – the title? The part – never wanted to be a director.
    • UWBEC “you could be running a program here.”
    • SACC – Director despite knowing better…
    • Foundry – created my own position from past accomplishments…
    • Today – screener, interview “I want no responsibility.”
    • Things fall in place how they should be, trust the process. Know what you want. Ok to NOT want the title.
    • Wanted Political Mayor Wife – Ended up Happy Jolly Girlfriend
  • Moment of Change – Life coming full circle, having what I said I never wanted. Not needing to keep striving to move up the ladder.

Dad – Ventilator – ICU 

  • Big emotion – life/death
  • Willing to share/be vulnerable? 100% (I think this says it all.)
  • Compelled to write? Yes. Especially w/ pandemic – health issues.
  • Series of images & moments?
    • Gma Smith – lingering illnesses, drawing pictures ICU, playing with her breathing exercise tool, best friend.
    • Smoked, covered face with sweater.
    • On ventalator – existed for a few days – until she passed. Was babysitting when heard news, didn’t cry. May 1989.
    • Could not legally “pull the plug” had no advance directives
    • Terry Shrivo case – political – news – activist Jenny.
    • Dad – turning down life insurance, sitting at kitchen table with salesman staying he wouldn’t have a physical.
    • Noticing giant lump under his armpit – reading Death Be Not Proud in HS – making correlation of cancer.
    • Waking up finding the EMT/ambulance in living room – dad passed out (or is this the memory of mom estopic pregnancy – need to confirm with Mom/Tim, in my head I’m seeing mom on couch…June 1989.
    • Liver/Hepatitis/Alcoholic but…Cancer – not wanting to go to Roswell, refusing additional treatment – likely knew for a long time he was sick and dying.
    • Smell of hospital bed – smelling that years later when opening a medicated Kleenex box. was not in ICU – was going to Darien Lake with Aunt Lu and stopped by, saw his extremely swollen legs and knew he was going to die, soon. Brother had no idea.
    • Aunt Carroll moving to MD – standing in hallway by stairs saying “I will see you soon….”
    • ICU – ventilator – showing him school clothes, telling us to turn the station when Cher was dancing on TV – “If I could Turn Back Time” (and how timely that damn song really was….) having his trembling hands try to write words to communicate with us – hardly able to write out “I love you.” (Oh god, I’m ready to break into tears.)
    • The tubes, him fighting and pulling them out, not wanting to be connected. The constant machine sound.
    • Night before first day of school – mom telling us he passed away – sitting on the plaid couch – Tim and I each on “our side”  – the TV show My Three Dads playing in the background.
    • Yellow roses at funeral –
    • Never, ever ever wanting to be hooked up to a machine.
    • COVID – breathing – scared – triggered all these memories.
  • Moment of Change  – How I want to die, not afraid of dying.

RESPIRATORY – WHILE THINKING OF GMA. ARE YOU KIDDING? Also, I’m listening. Also, WOW. 

First Date HWMMS – Hat Trick

  • Big emotion – love, happiness.
  • Willing to share/be vulnerable? – Yes, but not sure if I would offend Chuck, would need to make 100% positive. Would I include the Mark/Richard/Brian/John part in full? Hmmmmm. Maybe not.
  • Compelled to write? Someday.
  • Series of images & moments?
    • First boyfriend Alex P, Keaton – Nixon doll
    • No dating in college – queen of unrequited love.
    • Internet dating – single, never married. No kids. Advanced degree, want kids.
    • DC John – perfect on paper. Too good to be true – except, asexual.
    • Mark ———–doesn’t want kids.
    • Brian ———–doesn’t want kids.
    • Richard ———— unrequited love pattern again. (HOCKEY)
    • Math Man – divorced – with kids.
    • Plenty of Fish – blacksmith, Associates Degree, divorced? Unemployed? Hook up? Why not.
    • First Date – Fat Bob’s – meat, Giant Beers, Hockey, Metro, City Living, Drew Stafford – crush – hat trick, kiss everytime he scored.
    • Never-ending one night stand.
    • Johnston’s date – seems like you’ve been together foreever.
  • Moment of Change – no expectations, happens when least expect it.

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