NOTES. RANDOMMENTS. SNIPPETS. Love.

Connect with others on memories. Lil Brother “that didn’t happen…”

Push past the edge, what is past your comfort zone?

“Your career will happen to you, not the other way around.” (Fatta)

Be consistent. This is the place and I am here. Just being present and saying yes.

Care enough about myself to try – make things I love profitable. Already have the tools inside – the way around it is through it.

WRITE IN 3rd PERSON

Who are you writing for? — ME –

  • people who care about me?
  • people in my orbit? (kindred souls)
  • I write for the me I wish I knew of pw was inside me all along. I write for the people I want to encourage inspire, let them know they are not alone. People I want to make smile.

List of people I can be my complete self with —- (SO MANY) realize this is not true for everyone.

People who you have to censor…………(Lil Brother)

You have to write your stories.

“Not going to carry what I had to carry.”

Why do I write? — BE. I have to . I have no choice, there is no why its just a part of me.

Purpose, connect, share serve, compelled – content must get out on the page.

5 Favorite Writers? What do you like about them?

  • Jeanette Winterson – lyrical, poetic – artsy – provocative, the kind of writer I am not
  • Jenny Lawson/Samantha Irby – real, relatable, sassy.
  • Julia Cameron/Anne Lamott – inspirational
  • MEMOIRS – powerful women. politics….

“You can own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write war,ly about them they should have behaved better.” – Anne Lamott

What is your first memory????

I remember…”just being normal”

Women of a certain age and beyond

When writing you don’t know where the piece is going to go just keep going…

Work in progress folder – “I still love you” folder HAHAHAHA.

Look for patterns and things that come up – interesting phrases – FEEL THE ENERGY – find something that resonates in your body.

Get the garbage out – whine – get it out to get to the good stuff. Figure out what is the block, what is holding me back from moving into the block —- on the other side. Look to see what you are avoiding – the area you don’t WANT to write about.

Be comfortable with the mess. Let go of the editor the judgment the I have tossssss….do the pages not necessarily morning  – freewriting. MAKE TIME. Allow thoughts to develop.

What baggage do you bring into your writing what gets in the way to writing freely.

TOO MUCH for me its TOO MUCH AT ONCE IN MY HEAD – so much to let out one thought turns into many tangents – it becomes overwhelming and easier to just not write despite the fact the thoughts coning out  would maybe perhaps eventually become one line of thinking.

SILENCE THE THOUGHTS I KNOW I WANT TO COME OUT – feel almost paralyzed by too many thoughts. Excavating – get through that garbage getting in the way.

I think (I know) I already have the tools, the voice – I need TO DO,

Imposter syndrome? (Eh, not really.)

Monkey Mind  – YES

Be present. Say YES.

Midlife busy season for many – NOT FOR ME

Underlying issue with me – caring about myself enough to do – to try.

What are you writing about – trying to say? What are you really writing about? What is it really REALLY ABOUT?.

Food memories – GRAPES, Sunday Beef Stew &  Dumpling. Pancakes GPA Baker. Mom Hot Chocolate/Strawberry Quik, GMA Baker – bread-donuts-pie.

Pepperidge farm coconut layer cake. Asparagus and shrimp. Chicken a la Mein – dad, sticky rice gravy school. Nothing fancy Salt cool food. COFFEE.

Vintage Faded Red Betty Crocker Cookbook always in the upper left hand corner of the desk. What secrets is it trying to tell me…

There was never a real need for a cookbook in our house growing up. Everything in its own place. Done. Potatoes, cut and boiled. Add salt. Spears of broccoli from the freezer, into boiling water. Drain. Add salt. I grew up thinking sale was something the cooled down food. Dad and Gma would sprinkle it over their entire plates before taking a bite.

Im not sure ai even sw a cookbook at my grandmothers house – yes, a recipe box. And that weekly send a recipe card box on top of the fridge – why? Subscription. Box filled with the sacred recipes passed down, the ones committed to memory – and later typed out for all the family for a Christmas gift. Typos and comments and all. One of my most treasured memory of a gift.

But there was that faded classic betty Crocker book – on the top left corner of the shelf- int its place, always in its place. It came out only once in a rare Sunday— for dumplings to add to beef stew.

SKETCHING MORE SKETCHING.

Nature. Be. Inspirational. Peace.

Favorite outdoor spots from childhood – grapes, silky grass by maple tree, shaded trees in woods, hazelnut tree.

Great Majestic Maple Tree – guardian, welcome to the homestead.

Great sense of purpose. Shade/protect.

Patches of silky grass  – no weeds.

Ditch – leading to the road— gravely stones down to the garden

Sounds of cars assign on road (too close! too close!) in between, moments of stillness.