Dear TWO + FOOT LONG GARTER SNAKE (Yes, I’m shouting!(

Thank you for obviously eating all of the things near the front stairs and in our rose/strawberry porch garden. Continue on dear friend—all the slugs all the rodents all the grasshoppers. Just do it out of my sight please because YOU SCARE THE BEJEZUS OUT OF ME AND MAKE ME SCREAM.

Love, Me