Stranger.

It’s not been that long.

And yet, Mark feels like a stranger to me.

At my Gma’s funeral a few weeks ago I met Mark at the door. Hugged him. Thought I was going to be very emotional, but felt. So distant. So very, very far away. Odd. Uncomfortable? Perhaps…but it was more the absence of that familiar feeling. I assumed it would flood back and instead it was a door that was slammed shut.

No, I’m not sure what this means. But it is what it is. I have moments of missing him of course. I have moments of missing someone…of course, after all it was the holiday.

I’m dangerously close to 3 months without Mark and I would say I’m doing fine.

But I’m not ready to date. I don’t want to find someone else. I need to take care of me for a while.

However, flirting and smooching…welcome in 2009. Bring it.