I know this probably makes me a terrible friend but I’ve been invited to 4 video happy hour – get togethers for the weekend and that is 4 too many. I don’t feel like video chatting, ever. I love my friends, but…sigh.

Maybe if I were in a better headspace/mood? Maybe if talking lots and lots didn’t (literally) make me breathless and wear me out? Or maybe, none of these, I just don’t want to. Or maybe all of these.

I did it last week with my Philly friends. Well, they started without me and then HWMMS yelled in from downstairs “WHY AREN’T YOU ON THE VIDEO CHAT?”

So I obliged. And of course, it wasn’t bad. It was good to “SEE” the BFF & Amy, Don, Joelle, Patrick & Jenny…

“It’s almost like being in the basement of Weber Wonderland.”

…but it’s not my thing. I just don’t wanna.

Weird for someone so social. I hope my friends still want to be friends after this virtual video world simmers down.

And if you are reading and one of these friends, thank you for loving me. Thank you for wanting to be in touch with me. I’m sorry I’m, well, me.

It’s not just video chats (or phone calls) I know this probably makes me deep down a terrible person but I cannot handle motivational memes, tweets, quotes, statuses etc. They make me stabby. I suppose in fairness, the fact I’m woefully depressed — being laid-off AND still not feeling better has SOMETHING to do with my mood.

Or, not.

UPDATE: SATURDAY 9PM.

Full disclosure. I HATE SEEING MYSELF ON VIDEO. Hate hate hate hate. Love seeing other people, hate seeing myself. AND YES I learned I can turn my image off while chatting, but isn’t the point to have everyone see everyone?

Anyhow. Pro Tip. One can use a giant dog cone to hide multiple chins on video. As I learned tonight while chatting with my Inclusive Theater of WNY family.

“Sometimes it’s okay to be In our own head but you are correct – other people need you in theirs.” – Info